"Just a sec, I think my pizza's here."
-Spazm The Cat

"Derren gentley suggests she take a closer look at his snake."
-Emma / Akasha

"Ere, guess who I had in the back of my cab last week, mate? That Derren Brown geezer! Gawd's Truth! Funny thing though - I can't remember what the fuck he looks like."
-Satan

"Several games of snap later and the lamp was still winning 18-nil."
-Alocin

"The taxidermist caat off the final stiches..."
-Sydnet The Duck

"Pay the fines? You must be joking. I'm waiting for Bristol library to declare an amnesty befire I take all these bastards back."
-Hedgehog

"...And I said "And this is the dog you are looking for" and she paid up. And that, Your Honour, is the case for the defense."
-Maid Marion

"Derren is finally released after being caged and forced to listen to the Forum CD."
-Sydney The Duck

"Derren Brown. You have been evicted, please leave the Big Brother House."
-dRaggy

"The strict rule of silence forced Derren into the humiliation of miming to the librian he wanted one of the top shelf wank mags."
-Meme

"So I said, hic, to Coops, you're just, hic, a bloody Nobacherie! Hic!"
"A what Derren? Coops is a what?"
"Hic..nghehieowr, nobachyhger, hic,zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"

"C - U - N - T ... Wait a sec, did any of those American psychics snuff it recently?"
-Spasm The Cat

"You talkin' to me? You talking to me?"
-Icarus

"It slowly dawns on Derren that his infamous 'Hypnotic Glare' is failing to work on the wardens of Belmarsh."
-Icarus

"Repeat after me... It's all I need... It's all I need."
-Lolly Pertwhistle

"Derren Brown: The Musical was an instant success."
-Spasm The Cat

"Derrrrrren! Derrrrren! O Derrrrren Brooooown!"
"Yes O woman with pudding basin hair. What is iiiit?"
"Observe O Derrrrren Broooown. The thousand Vietanese children in raaaaags as they stooooom the stageeeee!"
"Chriiiist! I seeeee theeeeemmm. What's all that about theeeeen?"
"Don't ask me Deeeeern Brooooown! How should I knooooow?"

Copyright GO Go Yubari. Keep your hands off Lloyd-Webber.
-Go Go Yubari